Clinic 4: Touch my heart
posted in Writing Clinic |The message from the previous clinic is that most people are better at oral rather than written communication
Why do people usually speak better than they write? There are at least three reasons.
1. Their main purpose is to communicate their thoughts or messages. There is no other motive.
2. They vary their language and tone to suit the listeners and the situation.
3. They usually adopt an easy informal style.
To write well, you may have to pretend that you are talking. Read back whatever you have written and use your ears to judge whether they sound good or otherwise.
For instance, pretend that you are a songwriter and your job is to improve the following lyrics to make it sound better.
I want to be a multi-millionaire. I have no doubts I can achieve my dream. I am confident I can because I have a comprehensive strategy. All I need to do is to implement it with determination.
What will you do? Obviously your first task is to shorten all sentences and shorten all words without changing their meaning.
I want to be rich. I know I can make my dream come true. I have a way, my way. All I need is to get on the job every minute of the day.
Is there any change in the meaning between the two versions? Of course, not, but which do you think is better. The answer is quite obvious. Read the second version aloud and you can hear and feel the difference when you use shorter and simpler words. You can reach out and touch others.
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